I Hate Paula

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

American Idol: The “Are We There Yet?” Edition

So, yeah, I’m pretty sure that Bryan Kyrish made the little Baby Billy Idol cry tonight. But it’s okay because the pretty Haley Scarnato sang his tiny tears away.

Which was nice of her.

Haley has a strong, controlled voice and a beautiful bottom. Which is probably all important in chasing the American Idol dream.

Which, sadly, leads us to Jasmine Holland who really can’t sing. At all. She was right, though: the judges were rude to her. With her level of talent, though, I’m pretty sure the rest of us would’ve been pretty rude, too.

Baylie Brown sent me into fits of “okayyeahwhatever.” Simon praises her hugely after the lukewarm response to the prettier (and, I think, vocally more talented) Haley Scarnato. Sometimes I just don’t get this show.

Girlfriend Aside:
Notably, the g-phrase/f-word disagrees. She says that Baylie was better than Haley, which could go far in defining a lovely little rhyming scheme.

A Wholly Different Aside:
So, do you think they could’ve put a sign on those doors to help people out a bit?

From the moment they grabbed camera time, I liked “Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk.” That the Hulk couldn’t sing was a little disappointing, but it didn’t dim his personality even a little bit. Loved him (even though I was glad that he didn’t make it to Hollywood). Just as much, his cousin, Akron Waters deserves the trip. “A Change is Gonna Come” was a good change and I think Sam Cooke would have been proud.

These two are some of my favorites of the year.

Cue the bad audition collage, peaking (?) with Sandy Chavez. Ouch.

Commercial Aside:
I love that Taco Bell “carne asada” ad. The second lion rolls his “r’s” with the same talent that I do. Which fails to impress women like you wouldn’t believe.

Which goes nowhere in explaining the crush I have on Ashlyn Carr. Keep in mind that I wasn’t watching her during the first audition—I just listened—so I missed the odd facial expressions. What I heard, though, was a warm, beautiful voice. The only thing that took away from it was some awkward phrasing. A good coach and some patience would help her with that. God already gave her a warm personality, remarkable beauty, and a compelling voice.

I’m glad that the judges recognized their mistake.

Even better was Jimmy McNeal (spelling?) and his classic vocal style. He was one of the few that I could imagine going out of my way to hear based on his voice, performance, and song choice. “Cupid” was and inspired choice—upbeat, fun, and catchy.