I Hate Paula

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Little Schadenfreude Never Hurt Anyone

Yes, it’s wrong.

Yes, I feel some measure of guilt.

And yet, I can’t hide the happiness I feel at Leonardo DiCaprio’s complete and utter failure.

His environmental documentary, “The 11th Hour,” has been a total bust at the box office. After 18 days in release, the film has grossed only $417,913 from ticket sales. The 90-minute snore-fest is playing on 111 screens this week, but that number is likely to be reduced this Friday. The film will be sent to DVD heaven after that.

By comparison, Al Gore and Davis Guggenheim’s similar but far more engaging “An Inconvenient Truth” had already made $3.5 million by its 18th day of release.

I hesitated to say before “11th Hour” actually opened how mind-numbingly dull it was for fear that I would ruin it for those interested in the subject of global warming. But at Cannes, when the film by Nadia Conners and Leila Conners Petersen was shown to journalists, nearly the entire room fell asleep.

A Russian filmmaker told us afterward that she was the only person in the room who was awake at one point.

I don’t hate DiCaprio. At least, not completely. I just happen to hate the preachy tone adopted by stars, starlets, politicians, rock stars, and the like. I don’t like being lectured by anyone, much less someone whose main accomplishment in life is to look pretty and to be paid millions for a few hours of make believe.

Aside from that, DiCaprio is annoying because he’s both brilliant (Basketball Diaries, Catch Me if You Can) and lazy (Titanic, The Man in the Iron Mask)--and the lazy bits are almost as insufferable as the preaching.

So, cheers to his failure and the joy that it brings me.