I Hate Paula

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Britney Spears Hit & Run

Britney Spears appears to be doing what she can to follow the Lindsay Lohan Path to Unravelling Stardom.

Singer Britney Spears has been charged with hit-and-run and driving without a valid licence.
She is accused of hitting a parked car and driving away from a Los Angeles car park on 6 August, a spokesman for the city’s attorney’s office said.

The 25-year-old could face six months in jail and a $1,000 (£495) fine if convicted of the misdemeanour charges.

Now, if only she could work in a good Gibsonian racist rant and a drug conviction, she’ll be able to really watch her career fall apart (and the kids get taken away). I would offer up sympathy, but it wouldn’t exactly be heartfelt.

Read the rest.

Dave Shiflett Skewers Kid Nation

I found the idea of Kid Nation irritating and the big buzz by the media even worse. To my mind, Kid Nation is just a proof of the dearth of good ideas in the TV entertainment industry. While I couldn’t completely ignore the show--I read the Internet, talk to others, and watch TV occasionally; some things just won’t go away--but I happily refused to watch it. If Dave Shiflett’s review is accurate, it was good miss.

The run-up to the highly hyped debut of ``Kid Nation’’ included denying previews to critics, leading to speculation that CBS feared preemptive panning.

If so, the fear was well-founded. A pan won’t do for this turkey. This is gong material.

The new ``reality’’ series features 40 kids ages 8-15 who are supposed to remake an old New Mexico town—named Bonanza—that reportedly failed under adult rule.

Viewers are apparently to be impressed by the tykes’ resilience, sense of community and pioneer spirit, all blossoming free of adult supervision.

Yet one quickly senses that this is a big puppet show, with the strings being pulled by guidance counselors, social workers, homeroom teachers and other destroyers of youthful exuberance.

“Destroyers of youthful exuberance.” Beautiful.

Read the hilarious rest.

Monday, September 17, 2007

He Writes the Songs that Make the Whole World Cringe

Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be many things--in fact, to people of particularly weak constitution, I imagine her simplistic political views might even be offensive. One thing she isn’t, though, is “dangerous.”

But the man who gave us “I Can’t Smile Without You” and the “Bathroom Bowl Blues” (look it up) finds Hasselbeck so scary that he won’t even get on stage her.

TMZ has learned that legendary singer Barry Manilow has pulled out of his scheduled appearance on “The View” tomorrow—because he strongly disagrees with host Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s conservative view! Paging Rosie O’Donnell!

In an exclusive statement to TMZ, Barry says, “I strongly disagree with her views. I think she’s dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her.” Barry, taking a stand!

Now there’s a man who really knows how to make a stand. Hell of a brave stand to withhold “Bandstand Boogie” from the adoring throngs instead of facing the truly terrible intimidation of one of the hosts of The View. The one who is constantly outnumbered and doesn’t really manage to convey any depth or strong thought in her defense of her beliefs.

Big man, that Barry Manilow.

Read the rest.

Others:
Steve Green makes a threat. Barry is running scared now.
The Big Dog has his say.
Right Wing Bob, too.

By contrast, a man evincing actual bravery in the face of an actual threat.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Nude Pictures of Vanessa Hudgens?

I haven’t seen any of that High School Musical stuff, and don’t care if I ever do. But I would be willing to see pictures of Vanessa Hudgens, one of the show’s stars, naked. Because that would be pretty cool.

Vanessa Hudgens’ representative has confirmed that a nude photo circulating on the Internet is indeed the 18-year-old star of Disney Channel’s wildly popular “High School Musical” movies.

“This was a photo which was taken privately,” said Jill Fritzo, Hudgens’ publicist, on Friday. “It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public.”

The photo shows the 18-year-old actress standing naked in what appears to be a bedroom, with a red curtain behind her.

Two lessons for young women out there:

First, don’t trust men when they say, “No, baby, these pictures are just for me. Nobody else will ever see them.”

Second, if you’re stupid enough to trust men, your naked pictures will probably end up on the Internet.

Which is awfully nice for the rest of us, but maybe not so nice for you.

NSFW Picture over here. Just because I don’t like to be a tease.

(Cross Posted at RSong.com.)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Little Schadenfreude Never Hurt Anyone

Yes, it’s wrong.

Yes, I feel some measure of guilt.

And yet, I can’t hide the happiness I feel at Leonardo DiCaprio’s complete and utter failure.

His environmental documentary, “The 11th Hour,” has been a total bust at the box office. After 18 days in release, the film has grossed only $417,913 from ticket sales. The 90-minute snore-fest is playing on 111 screens this week, but that number is likely to be reduced this Friday. The film will be sent to DVD heaven after that.

By comparison, Al Gore and Davis Guggenheim’s similar but far more engaging “An Inconvenient Truth” had already made $3.5 million by its 18th day of release.

I hesitated to say before “11th Hour” actually opened how mind-numbingly dull it was for fear that I would ruin it for those interested in the subject of global warming. But at Cannes, when the film by Nadia Conners and Leila Conners Petersen was shown to journalists, nearly the entire room fell asleep.

A Russian filmmaker told us afterward that she was the only person in the room who was awake at one point.

I don’t hate DiCaprio. At least, not completely. I just happen to hate the preachy tone adopted by stars, starlets, politicians, rock stars, and the like. I don’t like being lectured by anyone, much less someone whose main accomplishment in life is to look pretty and to be paid millions for a few hours of make believe.

Aside from that, DiCaprio is annoying because he’s both brilliant (Basketball Diaries, Catch Me if You Can) and lazy (Titanic, The Man in the Iron Mask)--and the lazy bits are almost as insufferable as the preaching.

So, cheers to his failure and the joy that it brings me.