I Hate Paula

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

About Those Lindsay Lohan Nude Shots

If you’ve been searching for them and accidentally landed here, you can find the shots over here. Just click on the “slideshow” link underneath the photo.

As for me, she’s not my type. That is, she’s a psycho addict who is doing everything she can to ruin her own damned career. Stupid.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Kids Will Be Kids: The Special Rock Edition

How perfect is it that Kid Rock--possibly the most famous example of white trash in our era--was arrested for brawling outside of a Waffle House near Atlanta at 5 a.m.? And, if I read the story correctly, over the honor of a woman. Or something like that.

“He and five members of his entourage were involved in a fight with a male customer inside the Waffle House,” said Mekka Parish, a spokeswoman for the DeKalb County Police Department.

The customer recognized a female with Kid Rock’s party and exchanged words with her, Parish said.

“It escalated to a physical altercation between Kid Rock and that male customer and moved outside to the parking lot,” she said. At some point the customer punched out a restaurant window, she said.

I could never really get into Kid Rock’s music, but I’ve always had a strange respect for the guy. He’s stayed true to his roots in pretty much everything he’s ever done. He is, very nearly, the white trash ideal--and I don’t mean that in a bad way. None of it would have been my dream (with the notable exception of the heavy cash flow), but he’s lived out his dreams of cars, money, fame, cash, and booze. Hell, even the inflatable-boobed Playmate made an appearance or two.

What a guy.

Read the story.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Britney Spears Hit & Run

Britney Spears appears to be doing what she can to follow the Lindsay Lohan Path to Unravelling Stardom.

Singer Britney Spears has been charged with hit-and-run and driving without a valid licence.
She is accused of hitting a parked car and driving away from a Los Angeles car park on 6 August, a spokesman for the city’s attorney’s office said.

The 25-year-old could face six months in jail and a $1,000 (£495) fine if convicted of the misdemeanour charges.

Now, if only she could work in a good Gibsonian racist rant and a drug conviction, she’ll be able to really watch her career fall apart (and the kids get taken away). I would offer up sympathy, but it wouldn’t exactly be heartfelt.

Read the rest.

Dave Shiflett Skewers Kid Nation

I found the idea of Kid Nation irritating and the big buzz by the media even worse. To my mind, Kid Nation is just a proof of the dearth of good ideas in the TV entertainment industry. While I couldn’t completely ignore the show--I read the Internet, talk to others, and watch TV occasionally; some things just won’t go away--but I happily refused to watch it. If Dave Shiflett’s review is accurate, it was good miss.

The run-up to the highly hyped debut of ``Kid Nation’’ included denying previews to critics, leading to speculation that CBS feared preemptive panning.

If so, the fear was well-founded. A pan won’t do for this turkey. This is gong material.

The new ``reality’’ series features 40 kids ages 8-15 who are supposed to remake an old New Mexico town—named Bonanza—that reportedly failed under adult rule.

Viewers are apparently to be impressed by the tykes’ resilience, sense of community and pioneer spirit, all blossoming free of adult supervision.

Yet one quickly senses that this is a big puppet show, with the strings being pulled by guidance counselors, social workers, homeroom teachers and other destroyers of youthful exuberance.

“Destroyers of youthful exuberance.” Beautiful.

Read the hilarious rest.

Monday, September 17, 2007

He Writes the Songs that Make the Whole World Cringe

Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be many things--in fact, to people of particularly weak constitution, I imagine her simplistic political views might even be offensive. One thing she isn’t, though, is “dangerous.”

But the man who gave us “I Can’t Smile Without You” and the “Bathroom Bowl Blues” (look it up) finds Hasselbeck so scary that he won’t even get on stage her.

TMZ has learned that legendary singer Barry Manilow has pulled out of his scheduled appearance on “The View” tomorrow—because he strongly disagrees with host Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s conservative view! Paging Rosie O’Donnell!

In an exclusive statement to TMZ, Barry says, “I strongly disagree with her views. I think she’s dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her.” Barry, taking a stand!

Now there’s a man who really knows how to make a stand. Hell of a brave stand to withhold “Bandstand Boogie” from the adoring throngs instead of facing the truly terrible intimidation of one of the hosts of The View. The one who is constantly outnumbered and doesn’t really manage to convey any depth or strong thought in her defense of her beliefs.

Big man, that Barry Manilow.

Read the rest.

Others:
Steve Green makes a threat. Barry is running scared now.
The Big Dog has his say.
Right Wing Bob, too.

By contrast, a man evincing actual bravery in the face of an actual threat.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Nude Pictures of Vanessa Hudgens?

I haven’t seen any of that High School Musical stuff, and don’t care if I ever do. But I would be willing to see pictures of Vanessa Hudgens, one of the show’s stars, naked. Because that would be pretty cool.

Vanessa Hudgens’ representative has confirmed that a nude photo circulating on the Internet is indeed the 18-year-old star of Disney Channel’s wildly popular “High School Musical” movies.

“This was a photo which was taken privately,” said Jill Fritzo, Hudgens’ publicist, on Friday. “It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public.”

The photo shows the 18-year-old actress standing naked in what appears to be a bedroom, with a red curtain behind her.

Two lessons for young women out there:

First, don’t trust men when they say, “No, baby, these pictures are just for me. Nobody else will ever see them.”

Second, if you’re stupid enough to trust men, your naked pictures will probably end up on the Internet.

Which is awfully nice for the rest of us, but maybe not so nice for you.

NSFW Picture over here. Just because I don’t like to be a tease.

(Cross Posted at RSong.com.)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Little Schadenfreude Never Hurt Anyone

Yes, it’s wrong.

Yes, I feel some measure of guilt.

And yet, I can’t hide the happiness I feel at Leonardo DiCaprio’s complete and utter failure.

His environmental documentary, “The 11th Hour,” has been a total bust at the box office. After 18 days in release, the film has grossed only $417,913 from ticket sales. The 90-minute snore-fest is playing on 111 screens this week, but that number is likely to be reduced this Friday. The film will be sent to DVD heaven after that.

By comparison, Al Gore and Davis Guggenheim’s similar but far more engaging “An Inconvenient Truth” had already made $3.5 million by its 18th day of release.

I hesitated to say before “11th Hour” actually opened how mind-numbingly dull it was for fear that I would ruin it for those interested in the subject of global warming. But at Cannes, when the film by Nadia Conners and Leila Conners Petersen was shown to journalists, nearly the entire room fell asleep.

A Russian filmmaker told us afterward that she was the only person in the room who was awake at one point.

I don’t hate DiCaprio. At least, not completely. I just happen to hate the preachy tone adopted by stars, starlets, politicians, rock stars, and the like. I don’t like being lectured by anyone, much less someone whose main accomplishment in life is to look pretty and to be paid millions for a few hours of make believe.

Aside from that, DiCaprio is annoying because he’s both brilliant (Basketball Diaries, Catch Me if You Can) and lazy (Titanic, The Man in the Iron Mask)--and the lazy bits are almost as insufferable as the preaching.

So, cheers to his failure and the joy that it brings me.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Owen Wilson Needs a Little Help

I can’t imagine wanting to take the easy shots at Owen Wilson right now, which makes me feel a little hypocritical. I mean, look at the happy fun mean things I say about Lindsay Lohan and Pete Doherty.

But I like Owen Wilson. Not that I know the man, nor am I likely to, but he’s always seemed smart, funny as hell, and downright nice. I don’t want to see bad things happening to him and I can’t joke about what sounds like someone who truly needs a hand. Whatever is happening in his world--suicide attempts, heroin, and cocaine (which I thought was loads of fun, back in the day) I hope that he finds his way through it safely. There aren’t too many comedians of his brilliance running around the world--and damned if we don’t need a laugh or two.

Godspeed, Mr. Wilson. Your fans are pulling for you.

Read more.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

One Day in Jail. That’ll Show Her.

I’m sure that Lindsay Lohan will really learn her lesson after a day in jail.

Actress Lindsay Lohan must spend one day in jail after pleading guilty to drink driving and drug charges as part of a plea bargain.
She was put on three years’ probation, and must do community service and complete a drug treatment programme.

Lohan’s seven charges included driving while over the alcohol limit and being under the influence of cocaine.

The actress crashed her car in Los Angeles in May and was arrested again in July after being stopped by police.

She avoided more serious charges because she was only in possession of a small quantity of drugs both times she was arrested.

With her record, with the incredible profusion of recent idiocy, and with the fact that public morale would be hugely bolstered by her lengthy incarceration, you would have thought that the judge would have hooked us up with Lohan facing a long, long jail sentence in the bad kind of Office Space prison.

If you know what I mean.

Lohan papa Michael fears that his daughter will be harmed by her day serving extra-hard time.

He says, “She is a little girl who has been used by everybody around her because of her celebrity and that’s what’s landed her where she is. Now, she needs a helping hand, not a sentence.

“I’m against it. Jail would probably harm Lindsay more than help her.”

Lohan must now serve a 24-hour jail term, after the judge cut a mandatory four-day jail sentence in half and ordered her to carry out 10 days of community service.

Sure. It’s hard to imagine what might be gained by holding a stubborn, spoiled starlet like Lohan responsible for her own idiotic behavior and serially bad bad decisions. Why would we want to encourage the little princess to imagine that her actions might have real world consequences? Foolishness, I tell you.

Well, we do still have the near-inevitable Lindsay Lohan desperate-for-attention, career-on-the-rocks Playboy spread to look forward to.  Frankly, while that wouldn’t do a damned thing to salvage her dignity or her sagging fortunes, I always applaud starlet nudity. I’m shallow that way.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Pete Doherty: Still an Addict

Pete Doherty, of Babyshambles and the Libertines fame has to be the most fun addict in the world. Between his tempestuous, and tabloid feeding, relationship with fellow addict Kate Moss and his own relationship to crack, heroin, pot, and the occasional pill, Pete’s been a one man circus of “Don’t Try This at Home” fun. God bless him, he’s in trouble again.

Pete Doherty was arrested early on Monday on suspicion of drugs possession, a police source said. Doherty, 28, was arrested with two others, a man and a woman, after being stopped in a car in Tower Hamlets in east London.

To be fair, Babyshambles is actually a damned fine listen. It just isn’t near the fun of watching the Pete Doherty self-destructo show.